Do You Remember Me?

I'm back after a long break. I've been writing in my actual journal instead of my blog. I didn't mean to neglect. I just sometimes feel like writing the words done releases more emotions than typing them.

Things have been like a yo-yo lately, but I'm starting to get my bearings.

WORK - Work is work is BULLSHYT. WWE is still getting on my damn nerves. She needs to just quit and stop reeking havoc on my life. Supposedly, I'll be supervising the office one she speaks to HR. We will see and I'll keep you posted.

MEN - My plate is full. Not saying it's with the right people, but it's full of potential and stagnancy. Those two things don't mix. I have old, new and reoccurring men coming in and out of my life. I need to put a stop to this, but I find myself enjoying. What is the saying....Bad attention is better than no attention. I just say the dating pool sucks and a girl needs some TLC every now and then. Why train someone new when you have a plethora at your disposal?

LIFE - Well that's the one thing that is actually going good. I made a decision on grad school. I will be doing the English Education program. I want to teach high school students and eventually go into teaching at the university level. The children are our future and I'm sad to say...it ain't much of a future if we leave it up to the these kids now and days! They need a teacher that won't take shyt from NOBODY! That is me.

Well...that's it for now. I'll try to come back on here and deliver more news.

Ode to the King: RIP Michael Jackson

As you all know, unless you have been living under a rock, the King of Pop is dead.

It's still hard to say it, type it, or think it. I still can't let go of the memory of me frantically reloading the CNN homepage to see if it was true. It was.

My heart goes out the to Jackson family and all the fans that adore Michael. He was definitely an icon for everyone growing up. Gender and race played no role in the fact that Michael was the best. Period.

It was amazing to see a person in my time that crossed boundary lines and make a difference. You hear of the Malcolm X and MLK of the world's past and think, "Man, I wish I was alive to encounter a person like that." I can say I have.

I was born in the midst and world breaking success of Thriller and danced my way into my formative years with Bad. Michael and his brothers were with me all along for the ride. Their music formed a feel good barrier around me when I wanted to get away from life's craziness. I'll never forget listening to the Jackson 5 for the first time thinking, "Who is that kid dancing and singing like that? How old is he? Is he a midget?". I couldn't fathom a little boy could blow and dance like Michael Jackson. It was impossible. From that moment on I was in awe. My mom bought their records on vinyl and let it spin on the weekends as we cleaned the house. A tradition that stands forth today. Can't go a cleaning day without listening to a little Michael or the Jackson 5.

Even thought it's sad know that he is gone, he left us so much that we should be happy. I know as time passes, I will celebrate Michael and all that he had given me and the world. Great music. The only thing I regret and really sad about it that I didn't get to see his greatness in concert. During the height of his career, I was too young to attend a concert, but I thought I had time to see him when I got older. That makes me sad. Other than that, I'm celebrating Michael. I'm doing that everytimg I play his song or when I dance to his videos.

Michael is where he should be and I hope he is moonwalking all over the clouds in heaven.

Social Guru my ASS

Wow! 3 months of no contact. Life has been a blur!

Things happened that I should talk about, but I'm at work blogging during lunch. So I'm going to blog out my current mood status, which is PISSED THE F**K OFF, caused by my incompetent boss. I figure to get my malicious and murderous thoughts emotions in check, I blog about it. Whoever reads this will be my therapist. I just need to get things off my chest. If not, trust, one day my foot will be up her ASS. Sometimes I find myself trying to ward off evil thoughts by singing the latest Taco Bell Pina Colada drink song off their latest commercial.

Ok, this lousy excuse for a director has passed me up on plenty of career building opportunities over the past couple of months. I don't know if she has a personal vendetta for me or what, but it's getting old. She constantly takes my grand ideas and dumbs it down so she can articulate as her own. When she does give me credit, it's in such a backhanded way I'm not sure if I want the credit in the end. The passive agressiveness makes me want to kick her right between her serverely chapped lips and hope her profuse bleeding will moisturize her chaffing lips. Everytime she speaks to me my skin crawls from the movement of her rough, chapped lips meshing together. It's like rubbing sand paper together. Then her hangnails that scratch my arm when she tries to get her stupid, passive point across by touching me, makes me gag *holding back vile as I type*. She got one more time to lay her mangled cuticle hands on me....Lawd....WOOSAH...ok I'm back.

This is how she makes me feel on a daily basis for the past 2yrs 7 days and 6hrs and counting....

She is the blemish in my life that's bothersome. You want to demolish it but you can't for sake of leaving a hideous scar. That's her. Let's just called her Wicked Witch of the East (since we reside on the Eastside of Manhattan), WWE for short.

So after that introduction, let me get to the reason for my delirious anger. WWE passed me up, yet again for a opportunity doing a workshop on social networking that would take place in house for the staff that has been recently told of ther impending termination. She passed it along to a novice, to say the least, staff member that is getting her feet wet with social networking sites. WWE labeled her a "guru" and "expert on lament advice" for social networking. Mind you this "guru" only knows how to operate Twitter on a good day. I mean give me a damn break. So she promoted herself and book on Twitter alone. Whooptie Flippin Do! It's just a 147 character status notice! My 5 yr old cousin can update her status on Twitter. That doesn't give her the knowledge of running a social networking workshop!!

This is how the conversation went...

Me: "The Facebook page is up and running."
WWE: "Oh great. This looks amazing!"
Me: "Thanks! Only took my about an hour to get all the information uploaded."
WWE: "Yea, about that. I have some corrections. Not saying your work isn't fabulous, just it's missing a few things. No big deal."
Me: *rolling my eyes* "Sure it is."
WWE: "So I was thinking now that this Facebook thing is up, Pam could use it at the workshop she is doing on social networking. She is SO good at this stuff."
Me: *stunned and choking* "Who, Pam? All she knows is Twitter. How is she going to run a workshop on all the other networking sites?
WWE: "She is the GURU on this type of thing. She can show them the LAMENT version to all the confusing social networking sites."
Me: * thinking Lament? How lament can it get. Click. Create Profile. Post. Done.* "I guess."
WWE: "So can you set up things for Pam?"

At this point I zoned out, collected my lunch and walked out.

Now I'm an hour and a half into my hour lunch break and I'm dreading of returning to my office.

Pray for me ya'll...

Top Ten: Dudes that Wouldn't Bag Chicks if They Weren't Rich

So...in the mornings as I drag my behind out of bed to go to a job I loathe, I like to listen to Ed Lover's morning show. I don't know if anyone knows who Ed Lover is, but I'm about to tell ya...

One of raps most influential and pioneer MC, he started out as a git and worked his way up to bigger and better things. First did T.V. with a hit music video countdown show on MTV called Yo! MTV Raps (It was the 106 and Park of MTV back in the day). Then Ed went to the silver screen to play in "Who's the Man" (understated movie if you ask me). After many different gigs here and there on T.V. and movies, Ed now has his morning talk show on Power 105.1 in NYC.

Sidebar - I've always thought Ed Lover was a cutie, but when I saw him in person in a pass by on the streets I was DEFINITELY giving him the eye! I was sashaying and licking my lips like they were tasty. It wasn't until he saw me and smiled that I realized who it was. He looked like a regular cute dude walking the street. Talk about shamed!! I never diverted my gaze so quickly in my life!

Back to the lesson at hand...

On his radio show, Ed does his top ten and most of the time they are good, usually themed related to whats going on in today's news, but still pretty good. This morning was exceptional. I was rolling in the car on the way to work. So I decided to bless ya'll with his top ten to brighten your day.

10. T. Pain












9. Beenie Man


8. Lil Wayne


7. Gucci Mane


6. Patrick Ewing


5. Jay Z


4. Forest Whitaker


3. Jermaine Dupri


2. Biz Markie


1. Flavor Flav


Even though I think this list is pretty much complete, it could use some adjustments. Maybe move Ewing a little closer to number one and Hova back some toward Lil Wayne. Personally, I would and could do more with Hov then Ewing. Can you imagine? GREAT GOOGLY MOGGLY!

What do you guys think? This should be good...

Guess Who's Bizzack!

I'm back ya'll!

So, where do I begin. Man...well let's start with professional cause that won't take but nothing two seconds to rehash. MY JOB SUCKS!

In the famous words of Chris Rock, "You know the difference between a job and a career. A job, you counting the minutes until 5pm so you can punch you clock and get the hell out of there. A career, you don't even notice time and sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time to do what you have to do."

This is so true! Right now, I have a job. I once thought of it as a career, but now I see it for what it is. Something to pay the bills (barely) and the bare necessities. I think I feel this way because I'm doing something I'm not passionate about and I can't stand my boss. All I can say is she lucky it's a recession. Damn economy! My boss Chapped Lips Em..hmm let's just call her CL, cause a girl still needs a job. CL is the most inappropriate, aggravating, psycho person to be left in charge of a department. Since she stumbled into her position, she has NO IDEA how to handle herself or the job. I could go on and on, but I would be writing a novel before I'm done griping about all her incompetency. More on CL to come, promise.

Moving on...my personal life is stable. No worries about love. I mean I want to be in love, but I got my whole life to find it. Or even better, love finding me. Recently I came back from Aruba with a male friend. I say friend, but I mean friend. I believe you know what I mean. :) At first it was all about getting him to be in a relationship, but after a few mishap and hurt feelings I put it to rest. Now we are just enjoying each others company and not worrying about it. Which turned out to work for the better, even though I was totally against it from day one. My mother raised me better than to give the goodies to a man with no commitment. LMAO. But, desperate times called for desperate measures. I have no regrets cause I know beyind the choas and buffed up egos between the both of us, we seriously have respect and love for each other and that's a commitment I would like to keep.

Well, that's it! There is more but I'm afraid i have to go. Blogger is shutting down in 10 minus, 9, 8, 7....

Neglection

I know, I know...its been awhile since I posted any new items. But, its for good reason. Life has been chalk full of craziness, but sprinkled here and there with goodness. Hopefully this week I can actually sit down and rehash all of it to you guys. If not, I can do a really good recap!

Until next time (more than a few minutes of total focus) I'll hit you guys up...Promise :)

Funniest Thing I Read in Awhile...

I often surf the internet for interesting blogs, like my own of course, to read. My friend MD -- well, about that...it seems as though my friend doesn't like her name so, I thought long and hard about a new one. What I came up with was 'POISON'. Cause a man can't trust her big butt and smile. It was her catch line, not mine. So I dub thee Poison and send MD on its way.

Now back to business...

Poison hooked me on to this blog called Very Smart Brothas. It's world of sex, love, relationships, and everything inbetween through the eyes of a very smart brotha. I like the site because it speaks the true 98% of the time. I say that because you can't always go on the word of a brotha!

One article caught my eye and I wanted to share. It's about my favorite subject...crazy ass people!

Enjoy and let me know what you think...

bonkers: five signs you’re dealing with a crazy-ass bastard

Posted: 08 Mar 2009 09:02 PM PDT

in keeping with our committment to fight crime, i’d be remiss if i didn’t tell you that i was once in a relationship with a woman who later revealed herself to be completely insane. because i am still scared to death of her dont like to go in-depth about past lovers, i won’t get into any particulars, but i wanted to bring this topic up just to provide some sort of public documentation in case i end up “missing” someday show you all that the champ is human and sh*t, and how to avoid the mistakes ive made. so without further ado, heres…

….five signs you’re dealing with a crazy-ass bastard

1. you’re scared to break up…for two separate reasons:

a) what they’ll potentially do to you

and, more importantly.

b) what they’ll potentially do to themselves

“how did it last that long?”

ask anybody (myself included) who stayed in a relationship with a slightly anti-sane person this question, and they’ll all give you a variant of the same answer.

“yeah, of course, i feared that she’d delete my hard drive and grind off the heels of my ken cole dress boots if i ended it. but, to be honest, i was more scared about what she’d do to herself. sh*t, suicide, homicide, growing a shag, dating a skinhead, and publicly releasing a niagara of synthetic tears…anything was possible.”

2. you keep a list in your head of completely and hilariously random topics you try to never, ever, ever, ever bring up.

several years ago, i dated a woman who’d go batsh*t bongcrazy whenever anything having to do with vegetables was brought up.

i’m not making this up.

vegetables.

like lettuce and spinach and sh*t.

i once asked her why, but i lost interest once i heard the term “seattle communists” in her explanation. moral of the story: don’t date aka’s.

3. they have a list of completely and hilariously random places they’re never, ever, ever allowed to visit

chuck e cheese

walmart

back yards

madison square garden

walking across bridges

the state of delaware

within 500 yards of any post office or beer distributors

no matter how stupid the reason, crazy-ass bastards love being banned from random ass, seemingly unbanable places. its a virtual rite of passage, like confirmation for catholics and teen pregnancy for hispanics.

4. for whatever reason, sex is usually accompanied by tears

lets just say that i learned the hard way that a woman doing a naked wall-slide and sobbingly uncontrollably for ten minutes directly after an orgasm isnt a good thing, and could possibly lead to more terrifyingly hilarious behavior, and lets just leave it at that…ok?

cool.

lastly…

5. …they’ve made YOU crazy too

whether it’s changing your account passwords twice a week, hacking their email just to see if they’ve hacked yours, or finding yourself apologizing for completely and utter defensible sh*t (”i’m sorry for telling you i got to work on time yesterday. i didnt realize that it would make you think about your stepfather’s foster kids“), there’s no truer sign that you’re dating a crazy-ass bastard than the fact that you’ve started to do crazy-ass sh*t yourself, just to potentially pre-empt their craziness.

its a circle of crazy. a sphere of insanity. a loop of lunacy. a wheel of wack. a disc of dementia. a circumference of cuckoo

i’d go on, but…wait. hold up. i’ll be back. i think someone’s knocking on my window.

hmmm. thats odd. noone was there, but there’s a bucket of what looks to be chicken blood on my windowsill. i wonder why that is?

oh well. did i miss anything?

—the champ

Question of the Day: Platonic Friends...Yea or Ney?

I told you guys that I would initiate the Question of the Day blogs and well we have our first suggestion.

It comes from a newly acquired homegirl. She was a friend in my head before we actually were literally friends. LMAO! Don't act like you don't do the same thing. Call people friends before they know it. Luckily for me, she accepted my quirkiness and we became fast friends like we were already in my head. Let's call her Black Diamond, B. Di for short.

Earlier today she hit me up with a commonly asked question that plagues the minds of many people single, attached, etc.

"Can a Man and a Woman be platonic friends?"

Below is her rationale behind the very confusing situation:

"Chris Rock said it best when he compared platonic friendships to being "(Fill in the opposite sex utensil) In a Jar". The jar comes with instructions that read "BREAK IN EMERGENCY". But what constitutes an emergency? What happens to the friendship post breakage? Is there a point pre-breakage that one mentions the urge to shatter glass or does one ignore the feelings and carry on with the relationship?

It seems only natural that male and females are attracted to one another in friendship. Personally throughout my undergraduate years I had lots of male platonic friendships. I credit my ability to maintain the purity of these friendships to my 'unavailability' due to a Boo back at home. As a result, I cooked & got free meals out in return, borrowed their cars, got man work done in my apt done, had innocent late night movie sessions, the occasional sleepover (with them on the floor or at least a pillows length between us), had movers on hand at the end of each semester, guaranteed study buddies, had group members for projects, and of course got the answers to tests and finals when in need. (Damn, now that I think about it I had it made!) And all of these luxuries were afforded based on one simple principle I made up and lived by, "I am the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden". And it was true. All men want what they can't have. My male friendships could have been ruined if they ate the fruit so I held on to it. Some I let get closer than others but for the most part, I was the girl on campus the guys loved to wonder about but never got to taste- if you will. There was the undoubted flirting and most tried once or twice to holler but after the first 3 rejections, they pretty much decided to live with the choice of being a friend and 'keeping hope alive'. But I always knew I really liked him if he came to me raving about his crush and my stomach dropped to my feet. I realized then he had officially placed me in the friend category and I was going to be his therapist and special charm to get and keep the girl; well of course if I liked that is. My MO as the cool 'homegirl' still had its perks but once my male friend had crossed into the arms of another woman, I was stuck on the outside sometimes regretting that I did not say anything to him about my initial feelings. But in other cases, it turned out for the best. 9 times out of 10 my friendships grew and are still vital to this day. My male friends help tremendously in my own relationship debacles and they are like sponges to my sensitive side- I love it! ;-)

But what happens when we grow up and the collegiate games of yester-year are over? The days of flirting while cooking dinner are over because they all want dessert. The option to ride in cars that aren't mine don't exist, I mean unless I have gas to provide. Nor is it free to have men re-locate my belongings without the suggestion of fluffing my mattress. Everything has a price these days and unless it is crystal clear that things aren't going to be PG and Mickey Mouse there is always that option to break a few glasses. I mean honestly, think about your platonic friendships. There is a rare exception that unless they were cultivated as children, in high school or while in college, at our ages there stands a wee bit of room for extracurricular activity. Why else would you have been drawn to be friends? There is a natural attraction between men and women and sometimes the connection isn't instant but over time, the way he makes you laugh or the way she always is there for you is shed in a whole 'nother light. And this is where I struggle. At what point do I choose to tap the glass and perhaps create a crack? Or is it better to remain platonic and no one gets hurt? I wasn't sure if I was the only one who felt this way so I asked my buddy Sunny what she thought............"

Ok, I know that was a mouth full but you have to say B. Di has some valid points. There was no editing this excerpt. So, the question is out there.

"Can a Man and a Woman be platonic friends?"

I straddle the fence on this one. I totally hear what B. Di is saying, but I don't totally agree with it. It has parameters that need to be addressed. For instance, you can be platonic friends with the opposite sex IF the relationship purely starts off that way. JUST FRIENDS. You can't expect to be platonic if it was the result of a failed romantic attempt. Feelings are a son of a bitch and cause chaos whenever they feel like it. In B. Di's case, attraction is the corner stone of any kind of relationship. You are attracted to people's qualities, personalities, looks, etc. So it's natural to fall for a friend at some point in time, but its mind over matter to help you stick your ground. Jealousy is Feelings older, more coniving cousin. Together they reek havoc on your friend structure. Once you get past it, things get easier.

So, I say YES you can be platonic friends with the opposite sex if it purely starts off that way and you have a handle on the rash of feelings that may or may not occur. I also say NO you can't because if its a failed attempt at keeping a failed romantic situation alive it will not work. It will cause more trouble than peace.

Alright, so what do you ya'll think?

Super Bowl Sunday

Its that time of year again, the time of the foam fingers and the gloating. Its SUPER BOWL! Can't you smell the grill and the hot wings?

This year its the underdog Arizona Cardinals versus the Pittsburgh Steelers in Tampa. This is the second year its been in Florida and I couldn't make it. Oh well! I rather celebrate in NYC at swank parties.

I never really use to party for Super Bowl. Just recently due to friends that need a reason to drink and throw a party. Last year, I celebrated with my friends at a house party. Giants were playing and that's all the reason to stay in NYC and party.

This year I didn't care too much for the teams, but I always root for the underdog which was Arizona. Thanks to a friend I was enjoying the game from the luxurious presidential suite in the W hotel. Time Square was the backdrop to a swanky grown and sexy crowd. It was a different speed for me in how I watch a game, but a change is good right? With the flowing liquors and abundance of food, I felt like I got whisked into an alternate universe. A universe full of beautiful people, expensive fashions, and cash flow. I'm glad to say I held my own amongst the crowd.

Don't know if I'll make it a annual thing, but its a good alternate. I rather kick it low key watching the game from a 32 in box tv in the basement apartment of a dear friend while digging into the pot luck assembled by the guests.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

A Penny for Your Thoughts

Have you ever caught someone staring at you so intently that you were so compelled to ask them "What?" Or you noticed something odd and at the exact moment catch someone else noticing the same thing. Makes you wanna ask "A penny for your thoughts."

I'm a people watcher. I can sit and watch people all day. Its the most humorous thing I've discovered to date. It hilarious to catch and see what people are doing when they think no one is watching. In the city that supposedly never sleeps, someone is ALWAYS watching. Most of the time its probably me.

You don't need money to do it. Its free entertainment. You don't even need company. Well, maybe. It makes it funnier when you have someone to laugh with. I like to do it to pass time or get ideas for characters and plots for my stories. Hell, I even do it to have something to blog about.

Its easy to blend in the crowd and become like the air. Weaving in and out of people's gestures and conversations. I don't like to eavesdrop but if you make your business public I'm all ears!

I had to share. Now, I'm going back to people watching.

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

I'm Off to See the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of ... D.C?

Well, I've made plans to go to DC to make an attempt at my first stab at viewing one of the country's historical cities. What better time to go than President's Day Weekend. I already got my debut outfit for my new boo...president. Just think grown, sexy, and patriotic. Yes, that's it! Keep that memory in your head.

I know I'm like the only American that hasn't been to DC. I mean it's not my fault I was raised in a small hick town in the south. Instead of going to the national capitol as a field trip like most young kids did growing up, we went to another backwoods hick town and learned the minuscule history of my state's government. Whoop Ti DAMN Do! Yes, it's bitterness reeking from my words.

I'm excited about hanging with my friend her family for the long weekend. I get to get away from NYC for a while, relax, and get a home cooked meal straight from Nanna's kitchen! *stomach grumbling* Which reminds me that I need to eat lunch.

Check in later...I may have a 'Question of the Day' for you guys.

Ode to My Boo...I Mean President

Before I begin, can I please tell you how handsome my boo... president is? His swagger is impeccable. Michelle is one lucky woman. I'm sure she says that to herself EVERYDAY! I know I would. Especially, when I wake up wrapped in the finest Egyptian Cotton 1000 thread count sheets surrounded by luxurious amenities and the commander in chief slightly snoring in my ear. Oh yes, that would be the time I would say out loud "I am SO lucky!".

The single woman in me wants to hate on Michelle for snagging and keeping a GREAT black man, but the black girl in me swoons over the intimacy of the Obamas. The endearing looks, the loving caresses, the mutual respect for each other...I can go on and on. It makes me want to burst inside from all the love. I don't know how Michelle can do it. A camera would be bound to catch me staring at Barack with the sultry, animalistic, come hither glances. The ones where you didn't have to ask what that person was thinking because any moment the action would take place.

Lawd, let me stop talking about the president like that. Before I know it, CIA will be banging down my door confiscating my computer telling me I pose a serious threat. Probably label the the task Operation: Lewinski.

I digress...I meant to tell you about this web blog that was sent to me by my firend Lucky. It's called Obama Juice by Young, Black and Fabulous. That was it. Man, I really need to work on my digression issues. LOL.

Ohh Mr. President!

It's official ya'll...Barack Obama is the 44th president of the United States of America!

Today holds a special significance to African Americans. Part of a dream has come to play and people far and wide came to witness it. The overwhelming feeling of joy and aspiration filled my heart and the hearts of millions as we watched an African American man take the sacred oath of office. He is a sign of hope and change for many. On January 20, 2009 I was proud to sing our national anthem. I was finally able to hold my head up high and say the pledge of allegiance. I finally felt the slight elevation to equality. We dream big for a reason. Obama showed us it can be a reality.

Get ready world...a black man is running things!