Mobile Post

Trying out something new. Want to see if I can post via mobile.

Let's if it works...
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun

What is it about double dipping when it comes to relationships? You go through a horrid break up to just end up back together somewhere done the line. So, why do we go back?

Being that I'm single and all, I found myself thinking about beaus past and contemplating the reason they all ended. Recently an ex beau of mine has been sniffing around. At first, it was a definite ego booster. To know that an ex still had interest made me feel good but, I thought nothing of it. Now, he is still at it and I'm starting to ponder. Can I be able to redo this relationship? I'm sure it won't be the same as before. One, we are older. Two, we learned from the relationship in the years that followed. Even though things are pointing to the positive, I can't help but to think I been there and done that. So really, why go back?

So I got to thinking even more in depth about double dipping. Say if you go back, would you be negating what you decided on before? The reasons why you aren't together now. Or would you just forget the past and start fresh? This is what I contemplate while weighing my options about this repeated step.

In my situation, the love is lost for him but I can conjure it up if I need or want to. I don't think it will be hard at all. It came so easily the first time. I'm sure it can happen again, right?

Auld Lang Syne...My Dudes!

Happy New Year!

2009 is here and I'm not as excited for the year as I was years prior. NYE night seemed like any other night to me. The only thing special was that I was spending it with my family. I'm thankful for that, don't get me wrong, but a holiday surrounded by celebration and future outlook it flies under the radar for me. Now that I am older, this holiday should mean something different for me. Growing up I couldn't wait to break free of my family's timeless tradition of watching the ball drop from the confines of our living room year after year. I wanted to party with my friends or my current beau. A girl could only dream of the picturesque idea of ringing in the new year with her beau's arm wrapped around her kissing her passionately. Looks nice right? Well, that's NEVER happened.

I've partied with the friends already. Now I'm waiting for the beau. The romancing effect of it all. Until then, I'll just stick to the sight of my mama in her sexiest lingerie spraying us with cheap champagne. Yes, it's that sexy! Spending time with the people you love and that love you back, is what its all about this year. Eventually, I'll find that man to woo me into the next year. I can pop a bottle and toast to that!

Rude-amentary Behavior

If people treat you a certain way, do you treat them the same way back? How do you respond to someone who is blatantly rude?

For instance, god love her but my mother is the rudest person I know. I don't know where she gets off acting the way she does. Every time she behaves this way I make sure I shove a mirror in her face so she can see how ugly she is portraying herself. My sister asked her a simple question and because she didn't want to answer or be bothered, she retorted with a rude SHUT UP. I mean really! How rude. The thing that bothers me is that she doesn't care she is being totally rude. To top things off, she wants complete respect from her children after she speaks to us like this. It's really unbelievable. This could be IS the very reason she and I don't get along. To everyone else, it's normal behavior for her. Unlike my counterparts (my sisters), i don't take shit from her. I don't care that she is my mama.

How annoyed I am right now is proof that I'm done with this little vacation. My stay is definitely over welcomed. I might need to leave before things get serious.

Home for the Holidays

Who said you can't go home?

I never thought I would be so excited to come back to the town I once ran away from. Anticipating the stinging heat of the sun at high noon and welcoming the the slowness of the southern town. Temperatures are hitting the mid 80s for the holiday season. I welcomed the 60 degree difference with open arms!

My flight home on the other hand was NOT what I expected. It must have been a while since I flew anywhere because everything seemed so foreign. The stiffness in my back and neck from the 2 hour flight. The horrible closeness of other passengers. Which by the way doesn't help when one of the might need to use the bathroom. Toxic gas on a WHOLE other level, ICK! I one point I really thought...no really know I was about to blow chunks. Thankfully, Delta showed a in flight movie. I highly recommend Fred Claus...HILARIOUS. Only Vince Vaughn can pull off sibling resentment comically. Thinking that my vacation was starting off on the wrong foot, my spirits lifted when I took in the scene of the cleanest airport ever! Coming from JFK, I believe any airport is the cleanest really. Looking around and seeing the lavish digs, I realized I was home.

Seeing my sisters waiting for me at the curb sent an overwhelming feeling of happiness that I missed for awhile. It jumped three more levels when my parents welcomed me home with open arms. Mind you my flight landed at 12:30am and I didn't get home until 2am, but it didn't matter to them. I was so excited that I couldn't go to sleep.

I'll be home for the next two weeks and hope things just get better. I'll keep you posted.

Happy Holidays!

Are You a Good Person?

If someone were to you give you an opportunity at a new lease on life, would you be deserving of it?

I have been pondering this question for the past couple of hours. Earlier this evening I watched the movie "Seven Pounds", and the premise behind the movie was interesting to say the least. Not to spoil it for anyone that hasn't seen the movie, I won't get into any details. The question throughout the movie that the lead character would ask was "Is this person a good person?". The main character was dealing with the tough decision of who deserves another chance and if the person is worthy of it.

The art of sacrificing one's self for another person is a skillful art. Not a lot of people can do it. So, it got me thinking. Would I do it? No...could I do it? I want to say that I would if the person deserved it. I want to think that I am a good person and that I make right choices, but if it was my life or someone else I'm not sure if I can sacrifice myself. Does that make me a bad person?

This is definitely something I will be thinking about from now until well after the new year. Hopefully people will get a lot out of this movie. I know I did.

Current Longings

I haven't seen my family in almost a year and I'm starting to get homesick. I miss my mother's off key singing to carols. My dad's grumbling about unneeded decorating for the holiday. My little sister freely walking around the house without pants scheming on the food being cooked. My older sister trying to change the way the house has been run since we were born. The thought of family all around me, even at time when I can't stand them, I still want them around. I miss the little things that got on my nerves before.

Love. Something I always wished for over my years. Experienced once or twice, but it was never reciprocated. Well, I don't think it it has. As I get older, I want it more than ever. But some how it seems to escape me. Relationships that I start don't end up how I figure them to. It's not really my place to make something out of nothing.

Family and love are the two things I long for right now.